‘Hi .. Conversation Changes Lives’ Book Blog
“Hi” is a wealth of information that will encourage you, entice you, to take the first tentative steps to engage with others, to develop a sense of worth in one’s involvement with others, and with the community we share.
I highly recommend this treasure trove of practices, delightful story ‘snippets’, and compelling rationale for conversation. — Ken Annandale, Educator
We welcome your comments, and experiences as you let conversation change your life after reading the book. View a TV feature about Hi or view our entertaining book launch
Q: Advice to the next student driver of this book?
Not really sure on what to write here other than just have fun with it and talk to all types of different people. At first when you are just starting out, maybe keep it to people who look open, comfortable, and easy to approach. When you start to become better at asking questions and more comfortable with talking to strangers, maybe try the questions on the types of people who not everyone talks to, like homeless folk or mentally challenged individuals. These populations are largely marginalized and appreciate it when people acknowledge them and listen to what they have to say. Then finally when you are really getting the hang of it, try opening it up to people who look like they don’t want to talk at all. Maybe they are listening to their music or playing on their phone, but try to see if you can take them away from their current moment and induce them into a short, quick, conversation. A lot of time, you will get positive responses, and sometimes negative, but regardless of the reaction, you will get a story. One last tip, I found that these questions work really well on elderly people. I found they were always open to talk to me, and genuinely appreciated sharing their knowledge with a younger person.
Q: Making the shift from the classroom to the lights of the real world?
Like anything in life, holding conversations is often easier said than done. But the only way to get better at something is to actually go out and practice it. Asking these questions to complete strangers feels totally awkward and uncomfortable at first, but this feeling soon fades away when you actually start doing it. The build up is always the worst, it is where all the emotions and nerves start to kick in. Right before you are about to start the conversation, you always feel a bit nervous because you do not know how the conversation is going, or if the person will react the right way etc. A very good, simple method to help get people to carry out nerve wrecking acts is simply counting to three. Count in your head, one, two, and on the third count come out and ask the question. It helps give some people that extra little boost to start the conversation. Once you are talking and have efficient and thought worthy questions to follow up, all the nerves start to fade away. You will find the more you talk to strangers, the less you will need the book.
Today I had a wonderful conversation with a bus driver here in Victoria. He told me that he used to go to the university himself, and was a member of the varsity soccer team, some 30 odd years ago. He has been driving buses for the city ever since. As we drive through the campus, he told me histories of how he and his friends used certain spaces around campus, and how those spaces have changed over the years. We also talked about the unique and distinct older buildings that have been around since the creation of the university. It was neat hearing his perspective of what used to go on, and it was even more interesting comparing it to how other students and I use the space now. We even passed his old house that he and the soccer boys used to rent from along McKenzie. Sure enough, the house is still being rented to students, as you can tell by the simple state of the house. This was a particularly cool experience for me because I am coming close the end of my degree, and it got me thinking about all my interesting, positive stories I have accumulated over the two years. I hope that someday in the future I will be sharing my personal stories and reflections of the university with others.
Colin… You are having some great conversations.. See what happens if you mention Hi! the book to some of these folks. It may be helpful.
Similar to Erika, the next person that answered the question was a kid named Yonadev. I really liked Yoni, He from San Diego and is an all around very interesting person. We have had several classes together but never really talked outside of school. So when i saw i was sitting with him, I was really exiting about getting to know him better.
When i asked him about when he was bold, he talked about a time we were in class together. This semester we are in a class about enthoecology, it is an environmental science class focusing on indigenous landscape throughout the world in its simplest terms. One day our professor ask us to read a book out loud in class. Reading a lot in class is probably my greatest fear, it brings back memories of me in elementary and middle school with a lisp. It was a day time in my life that i rather not speak about but also funny to think about now.
Yoni decided to read out loud because it was his favorite book. The book was Wayfinders by Wade Davis and it happened to be one of his favorite passages, i thought that, that was a great coincidence! Where being bold really paid off.
Me and Yoni than just really bonded about being American and Canadian and we got a beer together after the dinner. I hope that we can continue this friendship!
I went to church dinner, if you don’t know about church dinner, let me tell you about it! A Church by campus holds a dinner every Tuesday where students can eat for free! You can go with a friend but this week I went alone.
I asked the table I was sitting with about the time they were bold. Immediately they told me what I was doing, having a conversation with strangers, was bold. I guess it is but I look at it more being fun and getting to know a new person.
One girl named Erika told a story of her living in Squamish where she meet a couple Brazilians, (her mother is Brazilian and she’s visited Brazil several times), and they invited her to a party, she didn’t know them well so she was walking home but on her way home she said why not. So she went to this party and was the only new person there. She had two conversations with people then left because she felt awkward.
We discussed what I am doing now (in having conversations with people ), and Erika said that hearing me do it made her story feel underwhelming. I said maybe so, but knowing that I’m doing should encourage her to do it more often. in order to help her start, I advised her to start talking to those people you see around campus, the ones you see all time either walking to class or hanging out where you do. it is easy and good to know those people because they probably want to know your story just as much as you want to know theirs.